Burning My Travels Clean

I was sitting in my US History class today when my teacher put forward this question, "Who would you rather have a beer with, Alexander Hamilton, or Patrick Henry?"  These two men of course being on opposing sides of the decision to ratify or not ratify the newly proposed Constitution.  Some asshole raises his hand and says that he would have a non-alcoholic beer (because he is not yet 21 and that he wouldn't want to break the law), with Alexander Hamilton because he's a strong supporter of the Constitution and the great nation that America has become.  The teacher subsequently thanked him for sucking her dick with the world's most cliche answer (yes her dick).  This then sparked a whole conversation with all the granola dreads arguing about how America isn't the best country in the world (fuckin idiots. America! FUCK YEAH!) and then they probably started talking about the Kyoto Protocol or something that had to do with the environment (that's just ignorant).  Anyways, durring all of these happenings, I was very obviously in the middle of an excellent day dream as shown, quite clearly I might add, by my blank stare out of the classroom windows.  I feel like it would be important to note that the windows are on the back wall of the classroom.  So, despite facing the completely opposite direction and very unambiguously rejecting her teachings, Ms. Wadewitz insisted on calling on me to answer her completely pointless and ludicrous question.  She asks me in this thoroughly bitchy tone like she caught me with my hand in the cookie jar, "What do you think, Brian?  Who would you rather have a beer with? (I'm a bitch)."  I was considering making up some circuitous bullshit answer that Ms. Wadewitz was undoubtably waiting to hear, but then I remembered how much of an a-hole that first guy sounded like and instead I replied, "Honestly, I'm not a big fan of history, or all these Federalist, Anti-federalist, Constitution shenanigans (oh, I also didn't do the reading).  But I am a fan of beer and therefor, if given the opportunity, I would much rather have one with Samuel Adams"  She looked at me like I literally just shit out of my mouth.  Like there was a turd laying there on my desk.