10 Things You Hate About Me

Posted by Magikarp On 10:29 PM
Sorry for ignoring you blog!  Actually, I don't care, you're an inanimate entity so I honestly don't give a shit about you or think that you deserve an apology, so if truth be told, I retract the previous sentence.  Anyways, to anybody that reads this, I want to let you know that I have been unexpectedly busy as of late and have consequently been unable to write anything new, but after an excellent weekend at home with my lovely lady friend, I am now back in my dorm room staring at my computer screen with nothing better to do.  Lucky you.  This is what has been on my mind as of late.  

1) I have been jonesin for a new video game like no ones business.  RE5 is in my sights.  I love zombies.  I love shooting them.  Dammit . . . . boner again.
2) Fuck AIG.  You screw the economy, get bailed out by the government, and give it all away in bonus checks?  Last time I checked, most people don't get a bonus for financially tanking the entire country (and thus the world).  But, feel free to send me some of that stimulus package AIG ;)
3)  Speaking of which, all this upsetting economics talk only strengthened my opinion on a certain issue that may raise a few eyebrows.  The so called "drug war."  It's dumb.  It's stupid.  It's a waste of money.  So all in all, it's a dumb, stupid, waste of money.  The war on drugs has an unattainable victory and unimaginable costs.  We can't catch these fucks, they are going to get it into the country no matter what, and our narcotics patrols can't be every place at every time, so why try?  I say, legalize all drugs (accept for amphetamines and opioids like meth and heroin because nothing good has ever come out of that) and then tax the shit out of it.  Not only would we be saving an ass load of money by exnaying federal narcotics departments, but imagine how much weed and cocaine people would buy if it was legal.  Snoop Dogg alone could bust this recession.
4)  I don't care what people say, Watchmen, while not completely faithful to the novel, is one kick ass movie and I'm glad that it was made.  I admit that it could have easily been three hours longer (and I would have sat through every glorious minute) but I guess that's what the 2 disc dvd set is going to be for :)  I can only hope ha.  Oh, and who agrees with me that the beginning montage with Bob Dylan playing in the background was one of the coolest things you have ever seen?
5)  Why is Obama such a downer when he's talking about the economy?  Did you see his "mini state of the union" address a couple weeks back?  Cheer up, or at least fake it, you're scaring the shit out of us.  
6)  Has anyone heard that recent story about the Iraqi soccer game where in the last minute of it during a free kick, the player kicking the ball was shot in the face?  If you have, have you heard why it happened?  I smell a conspiracy.  But not to get into that, I thought we were stabilizing the region?  Hard when every twelve year old kid has a kalashnikov isn't it.  If they are shooting their own people during a peaceful soccer game that they haven't been able to attend in years out of fear for their own security, then let's just please get the fuck out of there and leave them to their own devices.  Oh wait, we insist on spreading the American brand of democracy.  My fault, I forgot.
7)  The japanese have just released a new humanoid robot that looks exactly like a japanese women AND shows emotion.  The end is nigh! 
8)  I was working out a few days ago and saw a very large, very dark complected man grab the biggest dumbbells from the rack and bench them for multiple reps after which he tossed them aside like malnourished children and shouted, "WE NEED BIGGER FUCKING DUMBBELLS IN THIS BITCH!"   After cowering in fear and crying a little bit in the bathroom (that's a bit dramatized, I was actually just taking a dump), I remembered that I was working out to play football with this massive, insanely strong, grossly powerful human being, and subsequently imagined him in full pads running strait towards me in a couple weeks when practice starts . . . . fml
9)  I wasn't alive at the time, or barely at least, but sometimes I miss the Cold War.
10)  My spring break is next week and I am headed back to WSU for a 4 day homecoming.  It should be a good time, I do miss that place, along with the people that inhabit it.  Is it still snowing?  Do I need to find my gloves?  Good God Christ Almighty, I am dying to DEVOUR a McCoug.  

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