Burning My Travels Clean

• "I have a bone to pick with you" I am not entirely sure where this came from or even how it made sense at all ever, let alone now, but one thing I know for certain is that this phrase would be immeasurably better if it were more along the lines of, lets say, "I have a boner pic with you." Much better! I mean, could you imagine logging onto facebook and someone tags you in a boner pic? HAAA

• "Indian Giver" Racist pricks. How about "White man taker," as in the white man who took everything from the Native Americans and in return gave them shitty land, lifetime fishing licenses, the worst phrase ever, and alcoholism.

• "That's that. Fuck you" Ummm . . . That's that . . . Fuck you.
• "Kill two birds with one stone" This, in most cases, is used to to describe situations that involve multi-tasking or just good task management in general, but in reality, this phrase should be synonymous with winning the fucking lottery. I have trouble hitting the ground with a stone, let alone an object, or to a greater degree an animal, and god forbid a flying bird, so if I were to throw a stone that killed two birds, those birds would be the first two things I have ever hit with a stone . . . and then I would shit myself. Seriously though, how lucky would that be?! Anyways, people shouldn't throw rocks. It's dangerous, and in all likelihood they'd probably end up hitting my car like everything else seems to.

• "Scapegoat" For real? Maybe I'm wrong, but I am assuming that a long time ago somebody screwed up in some way, shape, or form (another phrase boooya!) and the best excuse they had was to blame the goat. The goat? That's worse than the time I blamed the ghost of christmas past for blowing his nose in my sock and then stuffing it in the bottom of the laundry basket like it had been there forever so nobody would notice it but then my mom did notice it and she knew it wasn't the ghost of christmas past and she probably also knew that it wasn't snot. Not smooth to say the least. I guess though that this saying originally came from the Bible or some shit, but that book is old and makes no sense!

• "It's always in the last place you look." This phrase actually makes perfect sense besides the fact that it's retarded (PI? sorry). Of course it's in the last place you look. Unless you're into continuing to look for stuff you've already found. Everybody has their thing I suppose.
• "Raining cats and dogs." That would be horrible for controlling the stray population. Bob Barker would be furious. PS the price is right should have retired with Bob. Drew Carey is clown shoes!
• "You know I thug em, fuck em, love em, leave em cuz I don't fuckin need em" Jay-Z is so much cooler than me.

Those are the only ones I can think of off the top of my head. I'm sure there are more but I'm tired of writing so forget it. I will write more soon . . . or delete my blog haha, we'll see.

I bomb atomically!

-Bri Bri slanty eye