So after much inner debate, i have decided to make my way back into the blogging world. But what has provoked this sudden rejuvenation? The abrupt revival of this here blog of mine!? Well perhaps the simplest answer I could give you would be stability. I've sort of reestablished myself lately and acclimated to my new circumstances as well as, to some extent, my new self. It's weird to think about the state of mind I was in looking back on prior posts. I was so deeply involved in things that now hold so little meaning in my life that I'm beginning to wonder if even the strongest of emotions are all steeped in ephemerality. But all that aside, lets bring y'all up to speed. First big change from the old Brian is that I decided, after a summer full of back and fourths, to not play football. I can't say that their isn't a tiny smidge of regret in the back of my mind (especially now that the cats are ranked 6th in the nation and are playing shittty luis and clark this weekend where I would have probably got in the game!) but football at its core, is not an altruistic sport. I don't care what bullshit saying you give me about team, nobody goes out to practice for 4 hours a day and rams into large men for the guy next to them. When it comes down to it, football, and especially college football, is played because you yourself loves the game, not because you love to play for your teammates, or your dad, or your friends, god forbid your girlfriend, or what have you. That does not work.
Secondly, and perhaps the most relevant to the new self I alluded to in the opening sentences, my ex-girlfriend Amy is now just that, my ex-girlfriend. It may seem kind of overly dramatic to say that a break up so drastically changed my life but thats what two years will get you right? A hole fuckin shit ton of hurt. I know i know, same old thing you've heard from past family and friends, sorry to be so cliche haha. It could be that I'm about to go off on some sob story about how heart broken I am and how I hate girls for it and will never love again, but if you thought that, i guess you don't know me that well. The final word I will ever say about the issue is that I am unbelievably thrilled that it is finally over and that even though a few months ago I would have never thought this to be the case, I am actually better for it! Everyone needs to get their heart broken once I figure; it does wonders for ones confidence, especially when you figure out you can stand on your own after so long. Very self affirming. Oh, one more thing I suppose I should note, BITCHES AINT SHIT! ;) Alright, that was unnecessary, but its my blog so I honestly couldn't care less about such things.
Lets see lets see, what else is new with me . . . . Guess you'll have to keep checking in to find out :) And I assure you it will be SOOOOOO interesting!!
Until next time,
-Brian
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