Burning My Travels Clean

These are some of those things.

Have you ever read or heard somebody say, "for your safety and convenience (insert random bullshit that nobody really pays attention to)." For some reason, and I doubt it's just me, I feel like safety and convenience are too dissimilar to be included in the same thought. Safety is something I think about in the sense of, "oh cool, I wont die from this," whereas convenience is more like, "awesome, this will make me fat." Too stubborn to believe that the world can function with such a contrived and idiotic public announcement, I figure that what they were really getting at is actually just misunderstood rather than actually just stupid. This train of thought in turn led me to the conclusion that what they are really saying is, "hey watch out, this is sooo convenient that it is practically unsafe." Case in point, escalators, particularly for people in wheelchairs. Or easy mac (not necessarily more dangerous to people in wheelchairs).

Easy Mac: it's Wheelie-Cheesey

Nutritional facts on water bottles. Why? Oh theres nothing in water and you mean to tell me that it's calorie free?!?! Thanks for so blatantly patronizing me water company! We're not friends anymore. I'm actually hoping to someday find a water bottle that says something like, "calories-0, sodium-0, carbs-0, 1.99 molar citric acid-10,000%!" That's the kind of water I like to drink. Also probably why I like mountain dew so much ;)

I hate how my mom asks me about my girlfriend everyday. The main issue with her inquiry is that I don't have a girlfriend. She then proceeds to ask me how my club foot is. There is no issue with that question.

Golf anyone?

Why does Kanye West just go on these arbitrary ridiculous rants that make him look like an idiot . . . oh wait that seems eerily similar . . . :( Damn you blog!

We learned in chemistry today that it is extremely difficult and proportionately so, extremely expensive to get a truly 100% solution of anything. This of course brings into question the validity of Juicy Juice. 100% real juice my club foot!

On a positive note, It's almost Friday! On a less positive note, it isn't Friday.

Godspeed, you!

-Brian